'Pregnancy'

Sep. 5th, 2010 12:06 pm
a_girl_like_me: (Default)
[personal profile] a_girl_like_me
"You can't be a little bit pregnant" the saying goes, pointing out that it is an 'all or nothing' state of being.

So is declaring yourself to have a 'different' life history, I believe.

Like many in my situation, I started out by being open about things; believing that 'educating the masses' was the right thing to do and not trying to 'hide' things. But I slowly came to realise that not only this was entirely illogical but it was also the stupidest thing to do *ever*.

Let me ask you: Have you had your appendix out? or your tonsils? Do you tell everyone you meet that you have done so? As soon as you meet them? Of course you don't. It isn't a relevant part of who you are *now*, just as much as what your hairstyle (or hair colour) was two years ago it is past and immaterial to the 'now'.

A one-time friend of mine (in the public eye and known to be TS) once pointed out "I wasn't born a 'man' - or a 'woman'. I was born a baby."

Not only is this self-evident it is also genetically true! All babies (zygotes) start out female and may or may not be changed in the womb by androgen and other hormones into a baby boy or a baby girl. Visually, at least; I can't speak to genotypes for me or you so 'visual' is what people usually go by.

So since that realisation I have never confirmed to anyone any suggestion that I am not what I appear to be, so far as I have been able to do so. I'm pretty certain that some former lovers may have an inkling; some friends too. But I take the view that if there is some doubt in their minds then that is way better than confirming anything, for once there is confirmation there is publicity and you can never again escape your past; it will always be discussed by others and held against you, rightly or wrongly.

And, over everything else, escaping one's past is what being 'of a different history' is all about. And if you push that 'possible' over the tipping point into 'definite' you will never be treated the same again.

Imagine if the world was divided not by genitalia and chromosomes, but by whether or not you have tonsils. Would you gladly show you still have yours if that meant you were treated as a second-class citizen? Or maybe it would be their absence that gave rise to such treatment. Either way it wouldn't be something that was immediately apparent to someone on the street walking past you so why would you scream about it if there was no appropriate or necessary reason to do so?

And I see personal history in the same light. I want, nay expect, people to treat me for who I am now. not for being a little bit pregnant in the dim and distant and *irrelevant* past.

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